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content

A Change Is Gonna Come
For the record, I still love E2E, they are one of my favorite beands, I love them all like brothers, and I'll never miss a show. But the thing is, no matter how big a fan I may be, I can't just go forgeting who I am. For the past 3 years, I have been forgeting how to be my own person like I've always been. I always felt like everything I said and did was always my own, but not so much anymore. I would listen to a metal band and hear the frontman scream w/ the emidiate though "Hmm, could Fred out scream them?", and watch them perform and still compare them to one band. I'm not even writing songs like myself anymore.
When I get in my car, I put in a different album everytime, because I want to still live like I always did. I'm a musician who wants to be in your face with what he has to say, that's how I've always been. I love the times I have with e2e, but I tend to catch myself believing that I would be just fine being one of their roadies for the rest of my life and just give up my own music all together. I can't stay that way, I'll be by their sides as much as I can, but after everything that's been happening lately, I have even more to say and I'm not even expressing what I had before.
The summer of 2002 was my time of self discovery. I stole my dad's guitar, moved into a tent for a month, listened to music (Tantric, Linkin Park, Cold, STP ex.), and wrote songs that were true to my mind the entire time. Month after, I moved back home, recorded a piece of shit cd, and sold it on the streets for the rest of the summer. Meeting e2e made me realize I still needed to be even MORE true to myself by playing heavier music, because I was not Counting Crows, I was fucking Cold. And I love them for that, but I can't stay intimidated, because that's not what they were trying to do w/ me.
Now that I realize all of this, I'm still loving everything to do w/ e2e, but at the same time, I want to make a name for myself. Which is why when I'm at band practice w/ Unspoken Hero and the guys start playing "Four Sided Dream" I just get annoyed. Sure, not everyone can be fucked up like me, so it's fine that they want to play it, they don't look at things the same way I do. So I just had to take a short break from them for a while, to clear my head. But I can't wait to see them again, I'm just not gonna move into another tent for another month.
So at least for me, a change is gonna come. With everything I do w/ e2e, I easily show people what I'm into. But now it's time to show them what I can do and what I have to say.