zacks_senario1 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} zacks_senario1) wrote,@ 2006-12-05 17:41:00 |
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Sometimes Life Hits You w/ A Brick, Sometimes It's A Bullet
It's pretty much all over here. I have no band, so there goes my music. Just when I let my guard down and decide to fall for someone, I find out that she's as stubborn as I am when it comes to loving someone. There's no way in hell I'm gonna be a pizza guys for the rest of my life. Pretty much I've made my decision, I'm not gonna sit here and settle for a life I know I'm not happy with. I'm gonna save my money and go to California myself.
Don't fucking try to talk me out of it, Wendy already fucking tried it and she's not doing shit to stop me. I've had enough women lie to me, and I've also had enough women tell me they don't feel a certain way. So obviously, I can tell if they're lieing when they say they don't feel a certain way! At this point, I've given up way too much for her, and not once has it been worth it to me. By falling for her, I've pretty much given up who I am. By all the ways she begs me to stay, I knew how she felt, because I know how I felt and I'd be the same way. But more than anything, it was the kiss we had on saturday. We had a long argument that is too long of a story that I'd have to make another entry, but i got a hotel on saturday because i had a long walk (long story), and I told her to come by if she wanted to talk about it. We talked about how we felt about our scenario and how she felt about me leaving. After about a half hour of whiping the tears off her face, I told her I had to kiss her. I wanted to know if I was gonna be kissing her or if I was just gonna be kissing another woman who wasn't Stephanie enough for me, like every other kiss I've had these past 7 years. Sure enough, I was right. All I felt was Wendy and the feelings Wendy gave me. I just know that there was more on the otherside of that kiss and she's never gonna say so. So here I am, in love w/ a woman who's letting me slip away.
Soon as I got home, I sent a message to Tanya Bettincourt telling her that I would love to buy an hour long massage from her, because I highly admire her ambition to move out to LA w/ no distraction. She gave me alot of info about how she's doing it, and at first she was making excuses for why she couldn't make me an appointment, 'cause our date a few months ago didn't go so well (w/ her being a celebrity and all). But after I switched my charm on abit, there was suddenly space right in her house for my massage. I'm gonna help her get to LA first, and then we're gonna keep in touch so that she can take a look what I can do for a job and where I can live, and how I can achieve all the goals I need. I love the guys from E2E, but the fact is, I just can't wait for them anymore. I dropped out of college to go on tour w/ them and nothing happened. I gotta do it myself.
So that's the story. I know i love Wendy, but she's not gonna motivate me to stay. And I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm just too weird for a normal life.
It's pretty much all over here. I have no band, so there goes my music. Just when I let my guard down and decide to fall for someone, I find out that she's as stubborn as I am when it comes to loving someone. There's no way in hell I'm gonna be a pizza guys for the rest of my life. Pretty much I've made my decision, I'm not gonna sit here and settle for a life I know I'm not happy with. I'm gonna save my money and go to California myself.
Don't fucking try to talk me out of it, Wendy already fucking tried it and she's not doing shit to stop me. I've had enough women lie to me, and I've also had enough women tell me they don't feel a certain way. So obviously, I can tell if they're lieing when they say they don't feel a certain way! At this point, I've given up way too much for her, and not once has it been worth it to me. By falling for her, I've pretty much given up who I am. By all the ways she begs me to stay, I knew how she felt, because I know how I felt and I'd be the same way. But more than anything, it was the kiss we had on saturday. We had a long argument that is too long of a story that I'd have to make another entry, but i got a hotel on saturday because i had a long walk (long story), and I told her to come by if she wanted to talk about it. We talked about how we felt about our scenario and how she felt about me leaving. After about a half hour of whiping the tears off her face, I told her I had to kiss her. I wanted to know if I was gonna be kissing her or if I was just gonna be kissing another woman who wasn't Stephanie enough for me, like every other kiss I've had these past 7 years. Sure enough, I was right. All I felt was Wendy and the feelings Wendy gave me. I just know that there was more on the otherside of that kiss and she's never gonna say so. So here I am, in love w/ a woman who's letting me slip away.
Soon as I got home, I sent a message to Tanya Bettincourt telling her that I would love to buy an hour long massage from her, because I highly admire her ambition to move out to LA w/ no distraction. She gave me alot of info about how she's doing it, and at first she was making excuses for why she couldn't make me an appointment, 'cause our date a few months ago didn't go so well (w/ her being a celebrity and all). But after I switched my charm on abit, there was suddenly space right in her house for my massage. I'm gonna help her get to LA first, and then we're gonna keep in touch so that she can take a look what I can do for a job and where I can live, and how I can achieve all the goals I need. I love the guys from E2E, but the fact is, I just can't wait for them anymore. I dropped out of college to go on tour w/ them and nothing happened. I gotta do it myself.
So that's the story. I know i love Wendy, but she's not gonna motivate me to stay. And I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm just too weird for a normal life.
